Crew Member:Maid of Honor
Name: Amanda Lang
Known Aliases: "The Czech Days Chick"
Dossier: Longtime friend and bad influence to the bride. Enjoys collecting cigar-cutters.

Crew Member:Bridesmaid
Name:CeCe Laws
Known Aliases: "Docto-mom"
Dossier: Finds science and medicine overrated. Working on a wine-based cure-all called Cece's Elixir.
 

Crew Member:Bridesmaid
Name: Stacy Picek Farr
Known Aliases: "Mrs. Farr Away"
Dossier: Implicated in a "wed-and-run" ponzie scheme in KC, 2008. Fled to nation's capital. Details fuzzy. May also have coined the term "the JHop".
 

Crew Member:Bridesmaid
Name: Susan Wakefield
Known Aliases:"Rocky's Mom"
Dossier: Enjoys red meat & long island ice teas. Seen repeatedly accosting innocent men at Bannister mall.
 

Crew Member:Bridesmaid
Name: Megan Tripp
Known Aliases:"GoodLookingHeine"
Dossier: Suspected founder of the South Dakotan Teetotallers Society.
 

Crew Member:Bridal Attendant
Name: Shannon Reid
Known Aliases: "The Corker"
Dossier: Falsely accused of being a cat lady (never more than one or two at once).Rumored to have ordered a mice pizza in Holland, completely unrelated.
 

Crew Member:Bridal Attendant
Name: Michelle Reid
Known Aliases: "Feymich", "Jannya ", "That Canadian Interloper"
Dossier: Being sought by Plaza Parking Security officials. Charges undisclosed.
 

Crew Member:Bridal Attendant
Name: Kati Keating
Known Aliases: "The Spinner"
Dossier: Currently resides in Las Vegas, working in PR and politics. Need we really say more?
 

Crew Member:Usher
Name: Alex Hans
Known Aliases: "Ice Lee", "2 Percent", "Skim Shady"
Dossier: On the run. Consider to be armed with milk and fully dangerous.
 

Crew Member:Usher
Name: Nathan Hans
Known Aliases: "Bud"
Dossier: Cited for unlicensed gun shows. Has received complaints for hogging the whole gym. Yes, all of it.
 

Crew Member: Best Man
Name: RT Reid
Known Aliases: "THE LOVE WARRIOR", "T-Bone", "Sparky"
Dossier: Rightfully claims that if anyone minded him starting fires, why do they always have him handle family grilling? Reputed member of basement punk band and underground chalk revolution.
 

Crew Member:Groomsman
Name: Kent Salisbury
Known Aliases:"Dr. Lovegum", "The Architect Dude"
Dossier: Long-time friend and cousin-in-law of the groom. Believed to have been subverted by Texan influences.
 

Crew Member:Groomsman
Name: Ryan Reid
Known Aliases: "Dr. Fury", "Coolio", "Rasta Reid"
Dossier:Known master of cigar ash. Suspected protege of Don Pepin Garcia. Lyrically subversive.
 

Crew Member:Groomsman
Name: Rich McGirr
Known Aliases: "Cardinal Lover", "That Saluki Guy", "Disney Duz It"
Dossier: Recently returned from British Isles, where he claimed to have found no St. Louis baseball and left.
 

Crew Member:Groomsman
Name: Peter Daniels
Known Aliases: "The RainMaker"
Dossier: Under investigation for conducting and profiting from environmental experimentation. Always pulling this sort of stuff.
 

Crew Member: Flower Girl
Name: Anne-Marie Reid
Known Aliases: "Pretty-Pretty Princess Champion", "She-Ra In Training"
Dossier: Currently dominating all things princess. Moonlights with She-Ra on gigs.
 

Crew Member: Ring Bearer
Name: Landon Hans
Known Aliases:"Lando Commando", "Bearcub"
Dossier: Suspected of piloting a boat at age 3. That's just to start.
 

Crew Member: Reader
Name: Carolyn Heine
Known Aliases:"DeadEye"
Dossier: Crack shot at 1,000 yards during high winds and northern snowstorms. Do not upset this woman.
 

Crew Member: Reader
Name: Connie Corral
Known Aliases:"The Wisegal", "The Keeper of the Address Sheet"
Dossier: Manages highly sought-after clan records. May suffer from post-dramatic syndrome (drama, see?)
 

Crew Member:Programs Attendant
Name: Olivia Smith
Known Aliases:Classified
Dossier:Known to rehabilitate substandard Brownie troops.
 

Crew Member: Mother of the Bride
Name: Cindy Hans
Known Aliases: "Cin City"
Dossier:Classified. But let's just say that the Kansas City Irish establishments have been told to keep an eye out.
 

Crew Member: Father of the Bride
Name: Mark Hans
Known Aliases: "Hog Boss", "Tractor Master"
Dossier: Currently under investigation for criminally effective farming enterprises. Has a weakness for the Farm Report and weather updates.
 

Crew Member: Mother of the Groom
Name: Angela Reid
Known Aliases: "Wild Thing", "Guacamole Angie"
Dossier: Accused of pioneering Amazon-style earrings. Known member of social sorority and altar society.
 

Crew Member: Father of the Groom
Name: Tom Reid
Known Aliases: "Agent Peludo", "Tequila Tom"
Dossier: Classified. But let's just say "Casa di Reid" may be code for "cooking up something special."
 

Crew Member:Programs Attendant
Name: Thane Reid
Known Aliases: "The Waffle King"
Dossier: Consumes books about as fast as his mom. Dangerously high levels of Weird Al knowledge.